J.A.M.S

another one?

2008-05-03T13:32:00.001+08:00

wow. one more surprise every week. i wonder what's next. allow me some peace and something more predictable in the near future i pray.

s

invert

2008-04-27T19:30:00.001+08:00

6 more weeks. haha. now the fun begins.

s

demons 1,2 and 3

2008-04-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

go go go away. i shall call you D1, D2 and D3.
you drain me, you suck me dry, leave me empty and crush me whole.
i've lived with y'all for 20 years of this forsaking life and it's gotten me to points over the edge.
yet you still wrangle with me over trivialities. i question myself on the well being of my own sanity, of my own nature and fortitude but deep inside, my own enemies mock me with slow acidic tongues and silent jeers. i've become my own nightmare, a scape of crevices dug questionably deep.

complicated? nah. simple? nah. i'm in no being of mind or body to drag myself or anyone for that matter. haha. i've heard it before. it's called help. help. help help. makes no matter. makes no difference. you dont know me anyway. you never bothered to try did you. your selfish well being was all you ever worried about. your self satisfaction was what reflected in your mirror everyday. and to think i spent days composing ways to dig you out of shit. funny how i never realised how deep my own shit was. i've grown so numb to the meaningless speeches and insincere gestures. it makes me believe we truly are alone on this miserable planet. belief? bah. faith? bah bah black sheep. i've neither in your words or ways of 'sanitisation'. pack your bags and leave. wait. i forgot, you already have left.

who am i? you don't really bother dont you. that's how this post is, meaningless to the eye, nonsense to the mind and bothersome to the soul. go back to your plane of dr. seuss's imaginations.

tsk tsk tsk

2008-03-22T22:45:00.003+08:00

drama only seems to come after we've been set to move out. oh well. funny woman threatened to disturb the peace and commit suicide though. maybe she was trying to force the potential buyers of the land into giving us back our houses and keeping their money. but too bad, she was foiled by the scdf (think josh lim). back to our normal peaceful serene lives here.

spencer

creation/destruction

2008-03-22T02:22:00.002+08:00

i just got back from my rendevous with ronald.
another one of those conversational meetings about everything under the sun.
God has really opened up my eyes to His works and i think ronald is testament to that work. in these 2 short years, he has changed remarkably and there's so much difference in him these days.
and amanda too. gosh. no words that i can think of can fully describe the difference in her.
they've gone through a lot and came out of all the crap so much stronger. oh Lord, how you've really aided me so much in my life as well. and through them i see even more potential of what i can do with you by my side. you've created me for greater things in your eyes and this is thus what i live for.

i feel the mistakes i've made i've yet to atone for and my pride still eats away at my throat, not allowing me to swallow fully. i've said too many things inappropriate and i think i've insulted too many. no matter the apologies, nothing changes right? perhaps. i'm overrated as it is. and i underrate too many. it weighs too heavily on me. wish it never occurred in the first place.

spence

2008-03-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

out of plc into somewhere new.
far far away up north. these people ah. just cannot post me any nearer home.
oh well. 1 week down. 13 to go.

s

coincidence

2008-02-10T01:42:00.000+08:00

people perhaps think that no one blogs here anymore. i dont blame them. its been pretty quiet for a while already.
einstein once said, coincidence is God's way of remaining invisible.
maybe its true how people start meeting one another and have long conversations about themselves and the things they're facing.
haha. i'm feeling old and mature.

s

food fare

2008-02-05T22:20:00.001+08:00

equate your life to food and you'd have a multitude of variety to describe.
and so to say, i had a dozen durian puffs and a couple over-ripe papayas today.
and over the last 7 weeks, it seems like leftover curry everynight and an occasional dose of toasted baguette.

i've 4 more weeks to go. memorable, inspirational, sweaty. sounds like a chess game or maybe the champions league final. but this, THIS, nah, it ain't big. it ain't comparable. it's just another turns on my food-friendly life. maybe a kueh lapis on a long line of desserts, or perhaps a simmering plate of fried rice. but whatever it is, it can only be for me to go through, for me to define and for me to EAT. let the diarrhoea begin.

spence

Untitled

2008-01-13T00:26:00.001+08:00

probably one of the quietest birthdays i've spent in years. no cards, no presents, no family, and no friends. may sound somewhat sad, but somehow, that's pretty much the way i like it. no fuss, no celebration, and just another passing moment to be forgotten in the other 364 days that will come to pass.

well. everything now is a thing of the past. time to continue pressing forth.

s

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New year; Old day

2008-01-01T04:03:00.001+08:00

2008. another day has passed, another year has arrived.
every year will be significant in it's passings; whether joyous, upsetting, etc, any run-in-the-mill experience is nonetheless memorable.

2007 brought about injuries galore. a back fracture, a stomach cyst, chronic migraines and injured knee ligaments. but despite everything, i'm still blessed with the full use of my body despite the physical pains i get from it. i won't allow any of these to do me in and i certainly will do everything in my power to ensure that i go on strong.

and then there were the family troubles. the words of that faithful night back in april still ring true and loud in my ears. i remember the things that were spoken to me by various individuals and even the accusations which i had to listen to. forgiven but not forgotten. every event moulds an individual and will ultimately change his perceptions. i don't think it has been any different for me. i admit an acute sense of coldness and even disgust to a degree but i try hard to ensure it stays buried in some deep crevice within the depths of my mind.

army has been another adaptation exercise. when they said that serving would change you, they certainly weren't joking about it. i haven't really had a decent conversation with anyone since i enlisted. 4 months into my army life has crushed my social life and left me with little intent to jump start it anytime soon. my dependance on human entities has been decreasing so rapidly that it scared even me. i've become so reliant upon myself that when i look at myself in the mirror in the mornings, i see only an decrepit soul beyond a pair of lifeless eyes.
i can barely hear an audible whisper coming from me sometimes and that little voice in my head just keeps getting softer everyday. sometimes i feel myself going blank and fading so deep into myself that i am afraid of collapsing under my own conscious mind. i don't even recognise my friends when i book out. everyone and everything seems foreign to me. and yet, i have to persevere and continue pushing on.

i haven't at all been too uneasy throughout my service and there are memories that i will definitely bring with me for the rest of my days. star gazing at nights with wayne, john and casey, is just one of the intellectual things i've learnt in there. buddies for these 2 years and definitely for more to come.

i've missed an awful lot of events this year. weddings, social gatherings, etc and i need to try and find the time to make it up to all these people. but through missing all these events, i've found myself growing closer to both my family and to God. funny it seems, especially since me going to church is like getting a UFO sighting in Singapore. but then again, my bible keeps me going strong when the pain strikes me down. it has taken 19 years for me to grow close to them but it's better than never. people will question how they've brought me up and even the things that they do but they're MY family, my blood, without them, i'm nothing. if i can't trust them, i can trust nobody.

2007 was a year of growing up. a year of maturing. a year of telling myself that i can make it, that people were depending on me, that i can depend on nobody but God and myself. pain is temporary, pride is forever. people come and go and i will probably end up as being another one of those guys. but i won't go down without a fight.

spence

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drips of liquid

2007-11-11T11:20:00.001+08:00

and rain just keeps on coming, with nothing to prevent it's descent

and perspiration accumulates and dissects through hair and skin

and sweet smelling dew at dawn, condensed upon fingerprinted-stained glass

tekong at it's best.

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My Testimonial

2007-10-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

My life has been like a roller coaster. Yes, I went through ups and downs like many individuals, yet my life cannot be compared to those of third worlds countries like Vietnam or Africa. Compared to them what I have gone through is peanuts.

But what I can testify and tell of is my blessed life. My life has always been beautiful. I’ve have experience much through my life and I thank GOD for that.

My life have thoroughly been protected and blessed by GOD. This testimonial has been due long time ago and its time I share it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whenever I travel, something extraordinary would happen.

During either 2005/6 (can’t remember) Christmas, I was in KL. I was thus around for the count down for Christmas. And during the count down the people there were very rowdy. Soon, the riot police came down and do their job. We were safe, luckily and not hurt during the rowdiness (people were starting small fights and throwing cans at each other). Locals said that its one of the very first time that the riot police would come down, especially during Christmas when count down for New Year were largely more rowdy.
During last year New Year, my family and I were in Bangkok and we were there during the bombings. We were lucky because in the afternoon we were at places where the bombs exploded at night.

During the year 2004, my family and I were at Sri Lanka at the end of the year for about 10 days. We traveled to many parts and also a beach. When I woke up on the 26th December, I realized that the tsunami had struck and it affected the houses that were only a few streets beside us because we lived near the sea. Also, the beach we were swimming at was totally wiped off. A number of places that I visited were too gone.

These are only 3 of the few incidents that have happened. I have a few minor ones that happened too. God have blessed me and my family and if you think its over, its not.

I have just come back from my 11 days trip from Perth, Australia. And boy am I protected.

Let me tell you more about my family first, there is my dad, my mum, my second brother Lincoln and youngest brother Ryan.

We reached Perth on the 9th Tuesday and stayed in Fremantle a 30 min drive away. I had a normal sweet night. On Wednesday, we made some arrangements and bookings for accommodation for the remaining days. However, I could not sleep; I thus decided to just listen to some Christian music, did a short prayer for protection for my family and went to sleep.

On Thursday, we were bound to Wave Rock, about 4 hours drive from Fremantle. Thus, we set off to about 10 am there. My father was driving with my mum in the front with him. I was behind my mother, Lincoln behind my dad and Ryan in the centre. My mum also constantly reminded us to be on safety belts because in Australia, if we get caught we would be fined.

So thus we set off, after about 2 hours of drive, I feel asleep. Ryan was sleeping on me, while Lincoln was also asleep. Usually in such circumstances we would be without seat belts for comfort, however for this trip we were wearing them constantly. The car my dad was driving was a car that was a 10 year old, 6 liters Holden car. The car was borrowed from my father’s friend.

While sleeping, I was suddenly awoken by a large screech by the jammed break. The wheels had a slight puncture and it went on to the gravel (like large marble stones) and he lost control of the car. The car went over to the other side of the road and hit the field. He swerved. My mum’s and my side of the car went down first and the car went turtle, opposite side, giving my dad and Lincoln side total impact of the slam. We went round another time before hitting a telephone line and stopping with the car on 2 wheels on my side. It went about 2 and a half spins. While spinning, I thought that’s the end of my life and my family one as well.

As the car reached a standstill, Ryan and Lincoln was on top of me, Lincoln got out first via the sun roof while I tried to get Ryan off. Lincoln quickly asked us to get off the car before there is an explosion because he watched a lot of movies. I faster got Ryan out as he was still shock from the accident and asked my mother out. I tried to help my dad. He got off from the driver seat tried to climb than stopped. His face was white from the pain and said he could not continue move. Lincoln went out to get help while I stayed with my Dad. My mother soon came and I went to give Ryan a hug to calm his nerves before I picked up the loose luggage.

The ambulance and police soon came and tried to help my dad but they could not get him out of the sun roof. So they decided to cut the roof of the car. The helicopter soon came and they got him to the Royal Perth Hospital.

We had to find accommodation and it was very tough because there were 3000 over marines from the US Navy who were there. Every where was booked and we had to spend hours calling to find accommodation. Thank GOD, we managed to get my niece’s friend’s mother to put us for a few days before we had to seek accommodation for our own.

Everyday was the same procedure, waking up, going to visit my dad, got for a walk at city, buy food back and head back to sleep.

My dad suffered fracture to his C5 and C6 in his backbone. Any higher or any lower would have resulted in him being paralyzed. He also suffered bruises all over and vomited blood because he slammed on to the steering wheel as there were no airbags. My dad has to be on a neck brace for the next 6 weeks.

My mum suffered very bad bruises and cuts all over her body.

Lincoln suffered a cut on his chin, bruises and also swollen ankles.

Ryan had a deep gash on his eye, cause his eyes to be bloodshot but its getting better now. He has bruises and cuts all over too.

For me, I had no injuries. Other than having a slight neck ache the next day.

We are now back in Singapore and sharing our each individual testimonial. But for me, I have to thank GOD for protecting my family and no getting them any worse injury.

And I believe it is God’s will.

Here are some points to ponder.

I am the only Christian in my family and I am the only one perfectly fine, even after a terrible crash.

I have always been prayer to the Lord to bless my family, keep my family safe, keep my family united, my relatives too. I also pray constantly to the Lord to help curb my dad smoking and drinking. And I trust my Lord planned this willingly.

Because of this accident, my father got a wake up call and he promised my family he would try to stop smoking and he has not smoked since the accident.

Also, this has resulted in greater bond between my family. We have stood with each other and helped too. My relatives have also became closer while each praying for my dad and also the tears and concern they have shown to my dad have truly touched my so tremendously.

I would never trade this experience with anything else in this world.

If God put me through this, he will bring me through it.

We did not buy travel insurance. But I am not worrying, because I know I am protected.

blessed by my Lord,

Morgan Yeo

yea

2007-10-07T21:36:00.000+08:00

i am really sorry for not appearing at soccer today even though i said i would come. I had something on and i thought it would end at least 3 or i could leave half way but i guess i was needed there and could not leave. feel terrible whenever i dont play soccer.

anway, i would be going to perth from the 9 to 20 of October. so spencer, jay, han you wont be able to contact me. but please do keep me updated alrights? thankss

ohh gonna miss the calvary cup too. OH MANN.....

morgan

I'M BACK

2007-09-28T23:19:00.001+08:00

i'm back! not much more i can say. SAF forbids me to reveal any info. and i see my weekends as VERY VERY important. too important to risk anything stupid. =)

s

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Untitled

2007-09-12T00:20:00.001+08:00

well. the inevitable has arrived and no whimsical parody is gonna keep me out of this line of duty i've to perform.
i'm clueless. should i be afraid? but yet, if it's unavoidable, why should i be? dread's only bitter and never sweet so what the heck.
to take one step, perchance to take another. and thats what i'll be doing.
at least i hope they wont be making caricatures of me in the papers running amok with a loaded gun in hand.
but then again, i've had a penchant for neither fame, firearms, nor controversy.
taking everything into consideration, i make myself up to be my only obstacle that will have the strongest impressions indented in me to actually prevent me from doing what i can do.
sounds cocky and overconfident eh. it might be. but i choose to believe that if i do believe, at least i cling on to that hope that something will happen then rather not at all.
i've no real idea how many people actually still read this blog since i'm possibly unofficially the only known blogger left on this site, but that's something indifferent to me.
just drop a tag or anythingwhatsoever when u visit. then at least it might give JAMS some reason to blog on this barren html coded, visually barren desert.

s

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Untitled

2007-09-10T12:13:00.001+08:00

my first ever red card. lol.
well at least it was in style.

s

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life

2007-08-28T21:04:00.001+08:00

another time, another life has come and gone.
i'm barely 19 and i'm attending another funeral of someone barely older than me.
19, barely legal, barely illegal, neither here nor there.
i can sit and reminisce all i want, but it wont bring back anything but flashes of thought and nothing more.
God bless ya Alex for the friend that you've been and the lives you have inspired.

s

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Untitled

2007-08-14T00:07:00.001+08:00

woah. funny day today. officially one more month till i enlist.
i've been laughing too much today already man. went out with phoebe today to do some catching up. havent seen her in a year already man. really really long time. later on went to her church where she was playing for her hokkien p&p service. haha. i was upstairs with some of her youth group. i think i remember some names. an esther, an enoch and an alicia are all i really remember. pardon my poor memory. but they really made me feel at home. haha.

i've been in a rather smiley mood since 11.30. i've just been cheery recently. i'm really dreading ns and yet there're many people out there making me feel better about it. these memories i'll take with me to tekong and beyond.

spence

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Untitled

2007-08-12T23:11:00.001+08:00

thankfully, one man dont make a team. if that were the case and i were that man, we'd have been thrashed big time today. had a bad bad match. made crap tackles, missed simple interceptions, almost ripped a guys shirt, got a yellow card and topped it off flaring up an old hamstring injury. this sucks.

better next week. pppppllllleeeeaaassseeeeeeee

s

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11-0

2007-08-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

woah. 11-0.
i finally scored my first goal in competitive tournament for calvary. it's been a long time waiting.
andrew lee wei han got made el capitain today and morgan got a brace. too bad jay was in camp. he'd have thoroughly enjoyed himself.
it's been a long tiresome day. whole day's been crazy and i'm super tired now. i need my rest, desperately.

spencer

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manchester united??

2007-07-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

been wondering, i know liverpool fans are the best in the world.
but where are they?
my friends all seems to be manchester friends, especially my really good friends,

jay is manchester
so is spencer
and wei han is definately red but not the REAL liverpool RED.

and in poly,
my good friends pin chen is man u loyal
so is ying hui
and definately alex song rong de. just look at his name, ALEX. YUCKS.

at least we are all red and stuff.

but fret not, we will never walk alone.
liverpool will always be there.

whatever la
morgan

Untitled

2007-07-20T23:32:00.001+08:00

shattered mirror.

7 years bad luck?

morgan says:

2007-07-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

thursday was supposed to be NAFA test.
but than last sunday, i was so badly bruised i could not work properly. i could not stress any weight or put any pressure on my right foot.

but its better now.

cant wait to play with all i got and get injured if neccessary again this sunday

:)

reprise

2007-07-17T00:38:00.001+08:00

when's the reprise gonna come?

will there be scarring?

will there be repercussions?

when will it end?

yet another

2007-07-15T21:46:00.001+08:00

now i understand what it means to give up without putting up a fight.

i now know who are the ones who dont put up that fight.

i now understand what it means to be just filled with hot air.

people are not just inspired by words but by the actions that back up the words.

it's so disappointing for 10 individuals to play as a team and yet have to look out for one other who wants to carry a whole team on his shoulders. a team. if we cant drill that concept into our noggins, then what's the point of coming together as a team to play. you can scream your lungs out only to see other half heartedly trudging back whilst you stand out-numbered. you can bleed and hurt and limp and do everything you can but what's gonna cover your back when you've done all you can to benefit the team you try so hard for.

there's no blame game in this. i will continue to do my best, to push myself and give my all on that pitch of limitless grass. as a team, i will pass, i will shoot, head, tackle, shout, shove, whatever i can to ensure that i'm doing the best i can. i just cannot guarantee everyone is one and the same in mentality.

i know there are people giving their all. i've seen it. i've seen them fight. and i will continue to fight with them, alongside them, as friends, comradaries, team-mates. isnt that what we all are? so why cant we stick to doing just that?

spence

Untitled

2007-07-13T01:40:00.001+08:00

another sleepless night, another thoughtful evening

i've been trying to sleep since 9.30 but i've only succeeded in slipping in and out of dreamland with more and more to think about each single time.

i've put on a bit of weight from this week's crazy workout schedule and i really hope it's muscle mass.

i'm starting to eat very little again. regularly, but very little. it's so weird to have to watch your diet and try not to binge eat.

there's really not much to blog about. oh yea. i hate cooking rice too.

spence

what a game.

2007-07-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

what a game.
the irony of a friendly.
the irony of having someone come up to you and say take it easy but having someone shoved it back up at my face with his own dirty and rough play

what happened to setting a good example to the rest of the team?
i guess its no action, talk only.
they call it NATO.

what happened to patience and good sportsmanship?
why in the rush to have a start off.
why cant you just put it down in the centrehalf and start the game as it should be?
why do you have to kick the ball to us after a goal have been scored and say just play on, dont waste time.
i thought if was just a friendly?

i understand soccer is a game of passion and competitiveness always would be there,
but please do not say to me: take it easy and play relax,
when you yourself play like a possessed man.

please clarify yourself next time, if not you would just confuse me.
i dont want to be confused. i just want to play soccer.

after attacking i always jog back to the centre line. i always attack and get back to postition. thats what i always do. and i vouch by my whole life that i do that. i attack and track back.
but that, someone told me: "since when were you this discipline? now friendly than know how to track back ah"
i just kept quiet, i hope he could just OPEN UP his eyes just a little bit more.

i feel insulted by the things that he says. if i know that i am not performing and if its accurate i will accept it with all that i got. but its not something i am not doing.

please no more biasness? why only to us. what about to your own friends? what abt that?

i can only shake my head and say what a game.!

with that said, it does not matter what happened cause what passed has passed
AND
it does not matter what my opinion is, it doesnt matter anyway,
life just goes on and the matter is just forgotten.

i hope.

i still love football and i would still be willinging to run my ass of during any game.
be it on saturdays with my various other team
or on sundays with the church team.

playing soccer with them is filled with so much passion.

=)

"whatever happens on the pitch, stays on the pitch"

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
poof. i forgotten about it already.

just needed to get it off my chest.

heyy!!!

2007-07-08T01:15:00.000+08:00

heyy,

its like an update to my life.

well, i just came back from China last week. it was a great trip as the company was good.

anyway i passed my CLASS 3 referee. i am now under FAS. which is quite good i guess.

now i am busy with projects and exams coming up next.

cheers!

migranes

2007-07-01T00:24:00.001+08:00

migranes. time to up my medicinal dosage. calvary 5 - korea 0.

Untitled

2007-06-29T00:09:00.001+08:00

nothing much to update on really. june has just flown by and july's around the corner but nothing really has changed.

just a few high scoring soccer matches, more work and random odd labours here and there. otherwise a pretty boring time to say the least. maybe the other 3 could provide more worthwhile stories of such i cannot.

needles

2007-05-17T00:35:00.001+08:00

needles are scary. think stingers, think long shiny, metallic pokey thingys.

and then imagine having one sticking out from your wrist. urgh. i hope this is the first and last CT scan i ever do. once in a lifetime experience. i just gotta keep it at that.

all in all, it was rather fun. going into the big whirly machine that has all these flashing lights inside and being strapped to a long long bed with a warm blankie.

the doc was hilarious. he went to explain to my parents about the dangers of the jab i was saying. 1/1000 chance of adverse allergic reaction and 1/10000 of death. i dont really know why i laughed at it. but the doc has this really funny face. i think the scariness of a needle in my arm had gone to my head. =s

i'm trying out vector masks on photoshop now. kenny yong tau fu will be so proud. =)

3 smart men

2007-05-16T11:41:00.001+08:00

one thing JAMs share in common has to be their innate intelligence. why? figure this:

3 of them are left handed. left handers use primarily more of their right brains than left.
but get this, they are all essentially right-footed as well, meaning they use equal amounts of their right AND left brains, making them ambidextrous to a certain extent.

what are the chances of having my 3 best friends share a common rare trait amongst people?

i'm proud to have you as my bros. =)

soccer

2007-05-10T21:58:00.001+08:00

unlike morgan, i seem to miss everything i kick. ha

penalty!

2007-05-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

been low on morale lately. dont know why.

got 4th for NUS tournament on sat. missed the decisive penalty after the draw. 4th out of 32 teams. still not that bad.

sunday i missed a whole load of bucket full of opportunities to score. missed the penalty i earned in the last minute. (at least i hit to pole after i promised samuel i would hit it). at least we won. still not that bad.

i guess i need to learn from mourinho, CHIN UP MORGAN.

its been a while since i played soccer or exercise, so busy with school.

i would be back this sunday. a hat trick? nothing is impossible.
i just need more practice when i am free.

morgan blogging after a long while :)

Untitled

2007-05-07T02:14:00.001+08:00

first friendly in a while today against Faith AG. had a convo with their winger during the match. nice dude that nicholas (no.21).

tourney's starting next week.

man utd has won the title. =)

CT's next week too. not scared really. but kinda wary of the jab that comes along with it. =s i don't really go well with pointy things (like high heels, needles, sharp edges, etc).

tuition kid's gonna be the death of me. if i see 'boring' as the definition to another word again, i'll flip and throttle her. i can't believe i agreed to tutoring her 4 tims next week. i must be off my rocker.

blue tablets are starting to take it's effect on me. the dryness and drowsiness are starting to come more readily than before. perhaps it's a good sign. goodbye to annoying headaches for good. (in 6 months though)

blend blend like a chameleon, blend. well. that's how life's working these days anyhow. i gotta start taking photos of the lil' kiddies that i babysit. they're rather fun to be with despite the endless tantrums and nonsentical games they play. but oh well, they're kids. guess i was once like that too. there's like rene, lisa, charlene, duncan, yvette, liya, felicity, sarah, mika, nicholas, darren, emily, sophia, cheryl, lynn, michelle, amelia, hazel, and some others that have a face but no name. boss is starting to complain that i have too many gf's at work. lol. i think he's jealous la.

extended youth camp

2007-04-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

hi! im back from my youth camp at tekong! life's really good. God certainly has blessed me alot. well, i cant reveal too much here on blog as its in the internet. so if you wanna noe more, juz come up to me and ask me. ill tell you how blessed i am.

i went 'home' last night for the first time in 16 days. but it wasn't really home. i came to a new place. you see, i moved home after being enlisted. so the home i left for tekong is no longer the home i returned to. this place. its more foreign to me than my army bunk!

jay

JAMS

2007-04-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

Jay Andrew Morgan Spencer

we have each other

sorry

2007-04-26T23:00:00.001+08:00

sorry. i'm not myself.

spence

Untitled

2007-04-21T01:24:00.001+08:00

You're all i want.

You're all i've ever needed.

Help me know You are near.

skinny or fat

2007-04-16T11:40:00.001+08:00

i just watched a talkshow that was referring to the media playing an important role in promoting skinnyness which leads to annorexia and bulimia amongst women in today's society.

but i'm wondering, the media is run by people, people like you, like me. who work in an industry made to entertain, educate and inform the people. are they truly the ones to blame?

lets look into it.

personally, i know of guys who refuse to date girls who are any fleshier than those models on television. and i know of girls too who will lose that extra amount of weight, just to look good.

looking at that, it does seem as though men are the ones who define the beauty of women rather than women themselves right?

and yet, thinking of it that way seems as though they're taking a selfless route; satisfying other's happiness and 'lust' at the loss of their own health.

is it really a sense of security a girl needs such that they lose weight? does this security constitute to making others look at them in a positive light so that they too can then learn to appreciate themselves?

i know of beautiful, and i mean superbly, absolutely beautiful girls who are so bereaved of their confidence by others and honestly, its quite sad they need so much convincing of how beautiful they actually are.

i think what the media really makes us think is not that we're great people as we are, but we can always make ourselves better people. (looks wise) otherwise known as, "perfection".

there's this one line that i always liked. 'imperfection is true perfection'. the little moles or pimples, that bit of wrinkle or bit of baby fat, that's what makes us perfect individuals cause it shows our normality, our uniqueness, our individuality. US.

leave the annorexia and bulimia to the truly sick. leave the guys who look at you with disdain. someone once told me, :'if you keep calling someone fat just to make fun of them, be prepared to have a fat wife in the future'. we reap what we sow. how apt.

down to it, i've settled on one equation. lusty men + insecure women = men getting what they want + women suffering

its true that all this is diminishing slowly. but there are still so many women insecure with how they look and men who push women to get that 'desired' figure. perhaps it'll never end till guys get their egos deflated and women get uber confident. we shall see. =) we shall see.

emo post.

2007-04-16T01:38:00.001+08:00

who more could you possibly please when you can't even please your own parents?

how can anyone entrust respoonsibility to you when you can't even be so at home?

God. save me. please. really. i do not know what i can do any longer. i'm starting to lose it.

getting a grip

2007-04-05T01:47:00.001+08:00

to date, i cant come to terms with quitting.

i cant get a grip on what i allowed myself to do and the tonnes of paperwork i ended up getting stuck with. down to it, i dunno if i've failed someone close in particular, myself or worst, God.

but i question again, how can i fail God if He probably mapped this plan out for me? by feeling sorry for myself? by feeling lost and upset at how things have turned out? and then again, failing Him is not something i pride myeslf in doing. so what more can i be but contented, (and i mean true contentment from other things rather then some plastic outwardly expression of what one calls 'happiness'), unable to understand how things will work out, but knowing that they will eventually work out.

i have this funny new tuition student.. she's erm, taiwanese and i'm teaching her english, but she kinda erm, freaks me out a bit. am gonna needa get some english notes from jamEs to help me out. so if you're reading, msn me k?

i'm still holding on, as certain things rather suggest, but school's getting hard to apply for. i wonder, is army still the route that i should be taking? i needa pray more.

spence

me and my pink card

2007-04-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

today marks the last week of my life as a civilian for the next 2 years. one year and 10 mths to be specific. im not really scared of army. i feel tt im rather fit. fit enough to be able to survive the training at least. tho' i think ive grown alittle fatter these past weeks. lolx. out field camps and marching under the sun. 24 click road march and not bathing for a week. i think i can handle tt. but i guess im rather bummed out tt ill be missing lots of stuff when i enter into the army. good bye easter play. good bye family camp and cebu. good bye my freedom. ill be sad when ive to book in and have to miss outing with my friends. ill miss soccer so much. hope i can play soccer in camp! or better, play soccer for my camp! lolx. ill do my best in my army. i dun plan to be veri outspoken or anything. but when given a task, ill give it my all! and wherever i get post to, may it be God's plan for my life.

with tt said, i also wanna say tt i feel im veri blessed with such great friends. i dun say ive a huge number of friends. morgan prob noes at least four times as many ppl than i do. but for the friends whom i have, they surely are dear to me. im blessed with a close circle of great friends whom i can count on anytime. then another circle of bros whom i can trust with my life. i have a circle of leaders, whom i can confide in. i can seek advice from them, and they watch over me. if you're one of those close to me, and you're reading this. i juz wanna tell you how much i appreciate you. thank you for making my life better. thank you for being such great friends and bros. i treasure each one of you!

Jams

jamEs

2007-03-30T10:10:00.001+08:00

we will forever be known as JAMS, but JAMES just sounds nicer la..

toughy

2007-03-25T00:58:00.001+08:00

it's been a rough few months. and it's caused a lil' friction here and there.

i'm grateful for the chances that i'm being shown and i'm trying to maintain the open-ness of every part of me. (from the eyes to the heart to the mind, etc etc etc..) i'm wondering if this renewed fondness for music that makes me wanna sleep is due to any of these.

but that aside, i'm just questioning myself over and over. God has been showing me more ever since and it makes me wonder why i even shut Him out for those moments in time. its almost as though i needed something huge to remind me of His grace. unsurprisingly, that slap; cold shower; wake-up call came. perhaps earlier than i expected but impactful all the same.

and it really made me realise the neglection i've given to the people i love and the hurt and grief i've caused them. only then, did i actually understand how much they meant to me. especially, you, you, you, you and you (for objectivity issues, i rather not mention names, though if you do approach me, i might tell whether its you, element of suspense that way =p). you may or may not know who you are, but you are the ones whom i undeniably caused the most harm to in the course of my actions. sorry? i dont believe it's even purposeful enough to be used here simply as a word. my actions will speak louder. i've prayed about it and i know what has to be done, i'm just hoping you (X5) see it.

1 little baby step at a time.

spence

from jams to jams

2007-03-24T16:49:00.000+08:00

jams don't know if jams can make it better,

All jams know is jams'll be around,

Tell jams everything you need

now anything at all

and jams'll be the one whos

waiting anytime you fall.

from jams to jams

Untitled

2007-03-23T00:03:00.001+08:00

you know it's ended when you can think of no more excuses to explain your actions.

its just here one day and gone another.

i feel so damned selfish.

gone.

why do babies cry?

2007-03-22T00:36:00.001+08:00

why do babies cry? they cry to gain attention so tt ppl will come to help them. why do ppl show tt they are sad? subconsciencely, its to signal for help too.

but sometimes, ppl give out such a signal, when when help comes, they refuse it. i dun understand. love ones and friends who care so much wan to help, yet they can do nth becoz their charity is rejected.

everyone goes thru ups and downs. Jesus even said tt tribulations in life will be inevitable. and tts why theres the church! iron sharpens iron. when you fall, you have friends to pick you up. but why refused their help? arogance? is tt wad it is? i tell you, everyone has their own fair share of burdens. cast them unto Jesus, for He cares for you. its so simple. He is your shelter. you helper and comforter in times of need. do not refuse Him for He is your greatest help.

i so wan to help you. will you share your burdens with me? i noe i may not be able to help, but its always nice to noe tt someone is there cheering you on. praying for you. let me be the one to pick you up. Jesus thru me.

Jams.

blue mondays

2007-03-21T11:09:00.001+08:00

mummy gave me a long pep talk on monday to quell my inner demons and satiate the longing need for an intellectual talk with someone.

her words remain as a constant reminder to the surreal presence of His hand in my life today without forgetting the past i was removed from.

i havent been very honest of late. i've been keeping too many details from too many people. there was an initial surge of guilt, but i've come to terms with it, realizing that there's no obligation whatsoever to tell people who actually ask. in fact, there isnt even a need to do so, since it doesnt benefit any purpose, whether in me or in the latter party's.

what mummy told me was right. and it sounds naive on my part, but i was unable to discern between the trustworthy and the non. je suis fatigue.

darryl d once told us this during a lecture, ' when i first stepped into this lecture theatre, a already gave you my trust. you never had to earn it, you already had it. someone had to take the initiative in this whole issue of trust, and all i want to say is, why not you? '

bless his merry soul, his words, stuck like glue in my head, continue to resonate everytime i meet someone new. its not about placating a person or saying nice flowery, honeyed words. but its a matter of being sincere, being honest and being open in heart and in mind.

some may ask, who am i to speak about values, and frankly, i cant tell you who i am or any credentials that i have, just that i am spencer. period.

is opinion still entertained?

2007-03-18T01:59:00.000+08:00

you know how restaurants and service-based industries always say 'we welcome your feedback!' - how true is that? having dealt with evaluation and feedback forms before, i say its crap. if the comments are good, we smile and frame them up to prove our service. if they suck, we curse the fella who wrote it and chuck them into the bin..

but is it similar when we take comments/criticism from others? are we really ready for that point of frankness and honesty? i don't really dare to answer that.

i wonder if giving my opinion to matters really is for the best or is it just a bestial annoyance to others.

i feel like a feedback form being torn through and through..

struggle

2007-03-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

why is life so full of that one word?

the struggle for freedom, the struggle to be understood, the struggle to me who we are, the struggle to find meaning to life, etc,etc,etc.

don't we ever get tired of it? i've never felt so drained in such a long time. and it's not just the soccer fix that is getting to me, but i think my mind is back to working overtime again and i'm not used to it. yet.

i've suddenly got this verbal constipation now. weird because i never seem able to shut up these days. i seem to drone on about something or another. i wonder how the people around me can take it. just ask me to shut up, really, please.

God has his funny ways, even in a soccer field, empty and seemlingly lifeless. but really, i never thought it possible till He showed me the way..

i need to sleep. i'll continue on this post tomorrow..

spence

for fun

2007-03-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

ooohh.. self proclaimed hypocrisy..

i like.

spence

The Jail Birds

2007-02-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

Presenting to you: The Jail Birds

Close friends have no boundries.
Close friends go through journies in life together.
Close friends are hard to come by.
Close friends are hard to tell apart.

Nothing can stop our friendship.

Shaving our hair is nothing but strenghtening and assuring the strong friendship that the four of us have. Our hair is nothing compared to this friendship.
And like this friendship, our hair would always be growing.

JAMS forever? i'll bet my life on it.

morgan. :)

life/death

2007-02-24T02:38:00.000+08:00

how ironic, as a new driver, you witness an accident first hand and it changes you all the way.

and i speak for JaMS in which we all came 3cm away from an accident. it happened 30mins ago and i'm still flustered horribly.. morgan was pacing about the room and jay is being lovey dovey..

but really.. i'm totally scared and i still feel like crying.. i cant imagine if anything had happened to us or even to people whom we know.. even though no one was injured, save the cars, we were extremely afraid of circumstances.. it only goes to show, if tomorrow never comes, will you know that you've done enough to leave this world contented and without regrets? i know i havent and i'm still looking to improve.. but that accident was a huge jolt back to reality not just for me but for my bros too. if someone had died, pray never, i think i'd be ultimately traumatized.. but thank God for us being safe despite the close proximity we were from the car.

i'm still really really scared. i just wanna say how much i love everyone.. so so so so so much.. i may not say it and sometimes i may not express it.. but man.. i know if i dont say and show it now, i dont know if i'd have the chance tomorrow..

spence

Driving

2007-02-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

Yeah manz.. im finally blogging again. How? With help from spencer. Hes great larz. Whilst im typing now, hes helping me with the usher tags, which I truly think is totally awesome. So if anyone thinks otherwise, you’ll get it from both of us. Lolx.. aniwaez, 21^st feb 2007 marks the day I drove a car for the first time! Yes, my first practical lesson. I’ll be honest and tell you tt I was tense. so tense, you could see icicles (spelt with help from spencer, lolx) growing on my neck. But after a while, I kinda got the hang of it. I went turning round and round. Left, and another left and another left. Then right and right and right again. But it was good. I felt I did rather well. The instructor din scold me or anything. and I even managed to learn the u-turn, which would be useful later on when I start driving, since my sense of direction is onli half-past-six. (I bet morgan and wei han would be masters at the u-turn! Lolx.) well, my next lesson is on Monday. I pray im not as tense and more confident. aniwaez im totally shagged (not in british term) onli slept for 2 half hours last night.

Jams

open house

2007-02-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

my house is open for CNY for the first time ever.

no one, let alone JAMs, has actually been invited to my place before, owing to the great number of breakables that lay exposed..

so, as the en bloc has been confirmed in Flamingo Valley, this will be the first and last time most of you will actually be seeing this place (assuming you come).

points to note : my tv's whacked.. so only vcds and dvds on that day.. also, i'm proposing we have dinner first before we crash my place as my parent MIGHT be entertaining guests too.. also, majority of people can make it on tuesday night, so, if it is possible, i want to open it up only on that evening.. but if you really cannot make it, feel free to drop by at other times.. although let me warn you, IT WILL BE AWKWARD WITH MY PARENTS. =D you have been warned.. so, message me if any of you can or want to come.. =D and yes, happy chinese new year! and belated happy valentine's day!

spencer

valentine's day

2007-02-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

it's two and a half hours into valentine's day (perhaps one of the most over-significant, silly, overrated 'days' ever created).

pardon my cynicism, but wet paint and sticky glue have been annoying me all night.. argh. i cant believe am going out with someone tomorrow.. am so gonna reflect on why i agreed to do this when i get home tomorrow.

my skin's starting to peel again. serves me right for falling asleep while tanning.. the usual.. sigh. when will i ever learn.

oh yea.. note to all o' level grads. DO NOT LOSE YOUR O' LEVEL CERTS. it's expensive to get a replacement..

spence

nike

2007-02-12T13:18:00.000+08:00

i always make it a point never to buy products from nike.. especially their soccer boots..

the lifespan of their soccer boots never exceed 3 months for me and they're rather expensive

to start off with.. so when jay said he had nike vouchers, i was rather pensieve about

purchasing anything from them.

surprising enough, while at their outlet, we were treated to rather good service. ok, so it was better than 'rather good'. it was excellent.. the salesgirl was not only helpful and friendly but spontaneous in her actions. she reacted with poise and little hesitance to help us, even though she was busy with many other customers..

critics say the service standards in singapore are poor. well, the critics say that everything in singapore is poor.. from the soccer, to toilet cleaniness.. i think our mindsets are clouded by these expectations of excellence and perfection that we ourselves forget that we are too well off for our own good. so we shall start giving thanks and praise where it is deserved and cut back from those who already have received too much attention to fill their bloated heads.

spence.(and jay too)

J.A.M.S.

2007-02-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

to my fellow partners in crime,
jay, spencer and andrew

i guess all four of us have been really busy with our own stuff and life,

andrew and me, with projects and exams
jay and spencer, with work and all

just want to let the three of you know that even though i have not been talking much to you guys, spencer and jay especially
you guys are still very important to my life and i treasure this friendship very very much

we will go against all odds and our friendship will survive all weathers

we will catch up really soon
and you know that i am always here for you

especially for spencer,
i am literally a stone's throw away.

morgan yeo

Spencer

2007-02-06T15:26:00.000+08:00

http://flickr.com/photos/32388846@N00/381499032

Blogged with Flock

naps

2007-02-03T01:07:00.000+08:00

usually, i seldom take afternoon naps.

but in the instance of today, i took a 2 hour snooze and had the most awkward 'dream'

i'm not really sure where to classify it.. whether it'd fall under dream or nightmare, but it definitely, without a doubt, was weird.

it involved punching han, kicking ernie, and slapping san. (sorry to all 3, i DONT think i meant it =p)

then i was running.. A LOT.. and charlene was chasing me. =s

there was like some kinda gathering going on and during then, laura actually asked me if i loved her.. and there was hannah, and she was jealous.

it seriously gets more warped from there..

cheryl was there asking me to leave them alone saying that i should be more cold hearted..

and jay, morgan, leb, norris and joe were laughing at me all the way..

ah tan was forcing me to eat her brownies, aaron was complaining that i was always late for bs..

both ronalds were wearing red wigs and huge red shoes.. and ps chad was in a chicken suit..

and then i was running again and i banged my head against the fence.. then i saw charlene sitting on the fence crying, and i woke up, realizing that i had banged my head against the bed post and was starting to develop into a bruise..

ok the end of a weirrrrrddddd story telling session. and yea, there was no moment in that dream that was in any reference to anything real or towards what i've been wanting to do. =)

spence

vietnem

2007-01-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

hey there im back!

for the benefit of those who din noe, i went backpacking in vietnem. it was really nice. tho' onli 4 days, i really enjoyed myself. went with my bro, which was a good combination. he was the rush and 'wanna do everything now' person and i the slacker. so we travelled at a comfortable pace.

vietnemise were really nice ppl. ok, some of them do cheat you, but if you compare it with her neighbour malaysia and thailand, vietnem is really great. the ppl are helpful and friendly. they live really simply life and dun try the squeeze out every penny from you. they'll give you a fair price, and stick with it. vietnem is also a safe country with a low crime rate. (again, comparing relative to thailand and malaysia) there are even 'tourist security police' patrioling al around. tho' it may be safe from crime, i cant say the same for the roads. onli 20% of the big roads have traiffic lights, and 95% of the drivers dun have a licence. i mean they renting a motorbike for me to drive for a whole day, says alot. i mean i onli learnt to ride it in 5 seconds and i went off riding on the roads. so be really careful which crossing vietnem's roads. i learnt tt while crossing tt 'slow and steady wins the race'. nvr try to speed up or slow down, you juz get yourself knocked down by one of the 3 million motorbikes in ho chin min.

aniwaez, in this trip, i learnt to ride a motorbike. i learnt kite surfing, which is totally cool and now officially my favourite sea sport. i got my hair cut in the foreign land, not too good an idea(stick with your usual hair stylist). i slided down a huge sand doom. and many other things i din for the first time.

this trip is onli the beginning. for me, the main purpose of the trip was to gain more expereince for future trips. maybe to future countries, and longer durations. backpacking is really fun. so take a chance, get adventurous and pack your bags for a buget airline to some cheap motel. lolx..

jay

hi, i'm frank

2007-01-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

someone once asked me, why didnt your parents name you frank? it'd suit you perfectly.

from then on, i began to realize my direct, crude, honeset, frank, harsh and of course critical review of people and the things they do.

i know of tonnes of people who say nice things only for the sake of doing so and never mean it and it really disgusts me.

so for now, i shall be frank.
i dont feel like attending church for a while. dont bother asking me why cause i'll just blast you off if you annoy me. dont bother contacting me, cause that'll irritate me too and really, i mean, REALLY, leave me alone. cause that's what i wanna be. ALONE.

spencer

phood 4 thot

2007-01-26T11:16:00.000+08:00

that insatiable, unquenchable thirst; unseen, unfathomable,

tipping scales of metaphorical crap.

you spend an eternity searching, only for a universal spanking.

oh what the heck.

SPanking

ENtrepeneur

Catches

Early

Rabbit (?)

dang loneliness

2007-01-25T13:08:00.000+08:00

there goes my one main source of entertainment in this cluttered office.

bye bye jay as you embark to vietnam to get yourself a wife there. =p

oh well.. you've left me with nothing but a 1000 files to scan and a 150 gb hard drive to play around with and of course fairfield methodist's entre programme to attend.

its only been 3 hours since you left and already i'm suffering withdrawal symptoms.. oh well.. i shall infect your laptop with some kind of virus. heh.

i think i'd fall asleep in here if not for msn saving my butt..

msn, my saviour, my confidante.

spencer

because or is it cause?

2007-01-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

i have not been blogging for some time. it is because well i have been crazy busy with school. very crazy. and also well, school = projects. yes projects.

and today i will be blogging about projects.

i think they should change the name of projects.
probably change it to "test of friendship" or "who can tahan more nonsense" or maybe "am i nice enough accept less than 10% of effor friends"

i am human, i never deny. i feel emotions. i control them, i be nice to them. they go over my head. i take and take and take.

i put in 110% for my projects wanting to get an A for my overall results. but a freak of nature by my "colleagues" somehow gave me a shock of my life.

thats poly life for you. thats projects for you.

but through this time, the Lord has been great. His word has been guiding me and leading me, controlling me at times.

morgan yeo

giving up

2007-01-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

a race that never ends, this time that never ceases

the people that never stop, countless opportunities come and gone

'i give up'. the simplest measure of a man's will.

rhythm foxtrot!

2007-01-16T11:31:00.000+08:00

we've kinda moved on from basic waltz to rhythm foxtrot..

and it's so fun!! thing is, we managed to round the room, TWICE!!

whee~~

still gotta get the waltz 18 step + corner turn correct, but with practice, i suppose it'll be fine. =)

i need some slow jazz and waltzing music to practice to.. any recommendations? =D

get well soon andrew!

spence

should girls be allowed to wear c******* bras in school?

2007-01-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

well the censored word is coloured.
thus the question being 'should girls be allowed to wear coloured bras in school?'
no, we're not a bunch of chee ko peks. (cross my fingers)
today, while coordinating a public speaking course in clementi town secondary school,
we chanced upon a class giving presentation on impromptu topics.
so lo and behold, up steps our 'dignified' presenter, sharing her views on a thought provoking, sensitive issue, dealing on the things INSIDE; underwear.

man, was the topic hot. you could feel the temperature rising a few notches with the guys blushing and even the teacher got herself involved in their little 'discussion'.
the girl's stance was in support of coloured bras and her best support ( no pun intended ) was to state that the wearing of coloured bras would makes you more colourful on the inside. WOW..
and guess what, the teacher ACUALLY supported (still no pun intended =D) that.
(teacher's female by the way.)
funny enough, 2 of the girls were 'brave' enough to admit they were wearing coloured bras that day, which was brave till the teacher said that she'll deal with them later on, then brave was suddenly spelt as S.T.U.P.I.D.
oh well.. so much for honesty. heh.
so much stuff happened today.. had a tissue throwing student, a babe magnet teacher and a few over-gigglish girls.. =)
pretty much a memorable day..
and its on to ang mo kio sec next week..

spencer & (perhaps jay too)

scan photocopy file fasten print label

2007-01-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

apparently, thats my job description.

it's more fun than it seems cause i'm on msn almost all the time and i've my itunes keeping me company from 9.30-5 ...

sam truly has attained the level of 'the great wise one'.

work

2007-01-02T10:58:00.000+08:00

work work work work work.

how much more tiring could it be?

oh no.. i'm dozing off during work..

MORGAN! i know how you feel :( i'm slowly becoming part of the furniture in the room..

the photocopy machine and hole punchers are my new best friends.

the paper fasteners are my arch enemies..

aiyo.. die la die..

if my boss catches me blogging during work.. LOL.

he just walked in.

die

spencer

test

2007-01-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

test test

spence

2007-01-01T11:33:00.000+08:00

feeling so distracted lately.
just trying to get away from everything i'm thinking of.
been doing too many stupid things as well.
need to just stop and take a step back to breathe in the air, to lighten the burden off my shoulders.

i'm gonna zip up now.

spence

Jay jay the prankster

2006-12-22T01:43:00.000+08:00

many ppl noe me as the playful boy. the sabo king. but i feel tt many ppl also forget tt i can be serious at times. when its time to be serious, i can be serious. but any other time, i choose to be playful, happy and cheerful. wads the use of being serious all the time? i plan to enjoy my life, every part of my life. i aim to have countless memories. memories which i can look back from years to come, and laugh bout it. and becoz of this, many ppl seem to have forgotten my serious side. thinking im juz an over-grown kid not knowing hen to keep quiet. if everyone is always serious, wad would this world turn into?

as playful as i may be, i still strongly believe in hard work and commitment. in responsibility and deligience. im a strong supporter in meritocracy. without work, how can things be achieved? i acknowledge tt there is a need for seriousness. and when the time comes, i will be serious, dead serious. however, you'll nvr catch my serious if i need not. i love my life too much to spoil it with plainness and boring seriousness.

i nvr mean to harm anybody. i nvr wan to hurt anyone. yes, i love to play pranks on ppl. yes, i adore the art of sabo. but please do take note tt i do think before i act. i would nvr go forward with anything which may harm anyone. even the games which i plan do not hurm anyone. yes, they are dirty, disgusting and gross. many ppl, tell me tt it is too cruel of me to make them do such things. but the thing is, after tt, they can laugh bout it. i dun plan games for ppl to play and to forget. many months or even years to come, which would be remembered and told to many friends, playing dog & bone on oil or playing "the pyramid game"? which would rather be laughed about, flinging unknown food items at one another or playing hop scotchs? i noe at first ppl will freak out at the game, they may hate the game. but later on when they look back, they would be laughing at it. recalling it as the good old days. i wanna give them sth to remember.

again, behind all the smiles, laughter and jokes, comes alot of planning. for safety and serious planning on how everything would work out. but of cuz many ppl dun see this side. and becoz of tt, im seen as the prankster. so now you noe wad inside this prankster's mind - jay jay the prankster. and if you think its so easy doing wad i do, why dun you try? lets see if laughter and jokes is all it takes, becoz the more the laughter and fun, the more the seriousness in planning too.

jay jay the prankster
Jams

heavy rain

2006-12-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

the heavy rain has been crazy.

rain rain rain rain rain
soon singapore would be underwater

i ate the wrong stuff during the christmas dinner.
i guess it must have been the oyster. (i took only one)

monday, i had fever and vommitted like mad.
virtually no food could have stayed in me for more than an hour.

i found out that i had food poisoning.

my dad has shingles too.

i never had chicken pox before. i hope he dont pass it to me or my other two brothers.

morgan.

hmm

2006-12-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

surprise surprise.
sheena and yi wei are back. guys, you know who i mean.
ahs sheena and kc yi wei.
ran into them while at parway.
yi wei's grown taller.
sheena's lost weight. =s
well, am feeling a tad awkward today.
thinking too much of the words of others..
it's leading me down a wrong road.
hope i can really snap out of it soon.
shan't try to speculate too much.

spence

update

2006-12-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

it's been a real interesting week, and somehow, i feel blogging about it just takes the excitement out of a possible story telling.
it was my first ever youth camp and it totally rocked.
the messages connected so well with the soul and the feeling of refreshment is damn shiok.
its so weird that even in the midst of camp, things uninvolved with it can have such a huge impact on my life.
new visions, new perspectives, new outlooks, etc, have changed my life.
i'm really beginning to understand what i assumed i already did.

i think i should just end here.
for more details, talk to me :)

spencer

integrity

2006-12-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

today has been a beautiful day,

i got scolded by my tutor. LOL.
guess why?
she said i was talking so much and playing a foool.

but i wasnt.
i was just smiling. i kept smiling to myself because of many reasons like bleach(breach) of contract

but it was quite bad when i told her i wasnt talking, she said i had no intergrity. oh man when she say that it was quite bad. buts its alright.

the bible says we should love and forgive our enemies.

i went to say sorry to her after that. she still seem angry for dont know what reason. but i did my part.

anyway i had heartburn and vomitted slightly after lecture. i guess my tutor was cursing me away.

but i still "love" her.

love,
morgan.

long long long weekend

2006-11-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

oh goodness, i've hardly gotten any sleep all weekend.
from soccer, to birthdays, i've not been able to shut my eyes for anything more than 2 hours at a time.
soccer was a blast though. not to mention the aches, joint pains and the fatigue baggage that came along after the tourny.
i feel so accident prone suddenly, getting hit, messing things up and just doing stupid things all the way.

this post has the potential of being really really long. (2 reallys!!)
so many things have just happened over the weekend and yet, i cant collectively put all my thoughts together to phrase my sentences together.
maybe i shall just post everything in bit by bit.
eh bros, start posting.

spencer

high

2006-11-25T01:07:00.000+08:00

high high high.
the one intense word that always hits me on friday nights.
teh ping, teh ping, teh ping, my best friend, my worse enemy.
i'm slowly going nuts, and a lack of zzzZZZzzz is a strong contributing factor to my slow demise.
soccer's in 8 hours!! oh no!!
yes, i'm nervous. caffeine has that effect too.. argh argh argh.
aaron's right, i'm losing my marbles. (never really owned marbles though.)
what to do, what to do, what to do.
jia lat. jia lat.

happy birthday charlene! the now 19 year old, gibberish speaking, sweet lil' girl.
am offcially gonna try to turn in now. pray it works. =p
nighty nights.

spencer(obviously right?)

thought process

2006-11-24T03:44:00.000+08:00

ever wondered how the thought process goes when you are contemplating on getting a gift for someone's birthday? well, here's a brief walkthrough.

1. consider the person's age. now, not the age in which the person is celebrating his/her bday, but the age they prefer to be recognized as.

2. consider what the person already has. receiving 2 similar gifts is a headache. and when your bday comes, expect the gift to land right back in your hands.

3. it's the thought that counts. yeah right. thats what they all say, till they find out you're giving them a coffee maker, socks or more ugly underwear.

4. consider what the person does NOT have. then think of why they don't have them in the first place.

5. what would YOU want on your birthday? only because if you give them that, you'll probably receive the same thing on your birthday.

6. if after all that, you still have no idea what to get, give the most cliched thing in the world, the thing that would still make the person happy, an ANG BAO.

i'm tired. i'm bead. argh argh argh.
i hope what i'm doing is not for naught.

spencer

jargon jargon jargon

2006-11-22T03:28:00.000+08:00

they should put a ban to the excessive usage of technical jargon.
for people who don't know what jargon is, jargon refers to terminology used by particular people doing particular sets of work.
e.g. hard news to a journalist doing journalism. or. pirouette to a ballerina.

i keep listening to so much of this terminology at work, at home, at dance, that i think my vocab content is just gonna explode and spill out all its contents soon.

wah.. my throat is going going gone. i shouted myself hoarse during rehearsal, i ate gelare, i ate char kway teow, etc etc etc. die ah die.
i better watch the intensity of how much shouting i do during the actual nights itself.
it's 3.30am in the morn and i'm still pretty hyper. not thinking anymore, but just hyper..
no thanks to the ice cream, and all the crazy, nutty people around me..
argh. gonna try and turn in now.. NIGHTS!

spencer

predictable/unpredictable

2006-11-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

how life just play tricks on us, taking us away in our prime, leaving the people who love us so in a position of desolation, of loneliness, of grief.
the shock that hit me when i found out the passing of a good friend's mum today and the realisation of the unpredictability of life.
we hear the cliched tales of how we all always take life for granted and how we ourselves tell people never to do so.
and yet, it never really sinks in or hits hard until it happens to each and every one of us.
does it really take so much to have a lesson learnt?

i look at the things i've done today-(not in order):
played soccer from 6-9pm, attended service and AGM later on, pampered myself by eating char kway teow, and now sitting, pain free in front of my laptop typing this post out.
it really isnt hard to appreciate what we have and what God has given to us.
the trees, the flowers, the birds, the animals, the technology, the life.
i recently started realizing the beauty of simplicity and the simpleness of understanding how they came about: God created them.
we keep thinking of explanations for everything in this world, when yet, God is the only explanation.
that's what sets us apart from children.
Assuredly, i say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:3

p.s. correct me if i wrongly interpreted anything.

spencer

2006-11-17T13:34:00.000+08:00

unlike aaron, i didnt emply mass comm theory into this. I AM BIASED!! =)
1.morgan
2.divinia
3.jay
4.hannah
5.han
6.charlene
7.norris
8.cheryl lek
9.andrew
10.kelly latimer
11.joe ho

1.How did you meet 10? CMM orientation
2.What would you do if you never met 2? be sad :(
3.What would you do if 9 & 11 dated? PRAY
4.Do you like 7? well. he's a fantastic buddy. so yep.
5.Would 5 & 6 make a good couple? LOL.
6.Describe 3. lovely :)
7.Do you think 8 is attractive? in her own way, she is
8.Tell me something about 9. versatile.
9.What's 5 favourite thing? normally i'd put girls. JOKING! hmmm. GOD
10.What would you do if 10 confesses he/she loves you? faint.
11.What language does 6 speak? gibberish :)
12.who is 9 going out with? oooohh. arent we all curious
13.How old is 8 now? 18
14.When was the last time you talked to 1? sunday?
15.What is 2's favourite band/singer? i've no idea.
16.Would you ever date 7? well. no. no offece norris
17.Would you ever date 11? oh dear. if i were a girl.....
18.Have you ever seen 8 naked? I WOULDNT WANT THAT
19.Name 5 people to do: eeny, meeny, miney and mo

spencer

a nightmare come to live.

2006-11-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

ever had a nightmare that all the odds were stacked against you? you fill a chill down your spint and think this couldn't really be happening. then you wake up and take God it was onli a dream. well sth liddat happened, but it wasnt a dream. my worst nightmare had come to live.

i dunno wad i ate on tues, but it was bad. and during the afternoon, juz before my afternoon paper, i started feeling really sick and vomiting. thank God it was onli clb. but anyhow, the experience was bad. and no matter wad, i had to take the exam or else i wouldn't be able to get into a local u. so by God's grace, i got thru' the 30 mins paper. onli vomiting once before a paper. after tt my mum brought me to the doctor's, where i got a jab and then went to sleep till the next morning. but the WORST so yet to come.

the following day, which was yesterday, was my phy p3.. held at 8am.. and becoz i felt so bad, and slept straight after going to the docs, i din get a chance to revise.. and to make matters worst, i woke up at folloing morning at 740!! i was going to be late for my paper!

so i was sick, feeling all vomity, weak and all those other stuff you get from food poisoning. and now im going to be late for my biggest exam of my life. i had to go for the exam, no questions asked. if i din go, i'll have to take my a's NEXT yr. again. no an option i was willing to take. at this point, my nightmare had come to live. i kept thinking to myself tt it was time to wake up. onli to realise, this was reality. God help me!

thank God, my dad was still at home. he drove me straight to skool. on the way, my dad told me not to panic, not to hurry or ill get too tense and not think properly. thank God for his advice. by the time we reached my skool, it was already 810. and in jc, every min counts. so i went to the hall and pass the note the doc gave me to the chieft examiner. she was nice, and places me in an isolation room. but did all these without giving me a single min of allowance time. by the time i started my paper, i was 15 mins late.

aniwaez, i prayed and i did to paper. did the paper, feeling weak, not really vomity and a pain in the butt cuz of the jab. it was a wonder, how i managed to finish my paper. and finished it quite well.. im even ratjer confident bout the paper. and all thanx to God. cuz even when odds are against me, God is with me!

and tts im amazing story. my nightmare turned to live, now has a beautiful ending. glory to God!

Jams

wiley smiles

2006-11-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

bekie and i drove auntie rina mad yesterday while she was trying to choreograph what we were supposed to do for our dance. :p
i still can't belive my own hyperactivity even after working that day.
but yea, we were just doing tonnes of crazy, nutty things throughout that time until i almost couldnt recognise myself. tsk tsk.

after prac was supper with andrew and norris. although it wasn't much of a meal, epecially since it was ice cream waffle at gelare. the night went on to become a late night interllectual convo with norris at a dinghy coffee shop that was playing old school, soapy chinese music. it's been long since i really sat down with someone to just talk the night away, in a mostly interllectual, thinking way. it frightens me to even think about it. anyway, the talk lasted till 3.30 am and i found myself locked out of my house when i got back.. ended up sleeping in the corridor till 6. :p

work's starting out good. got a few nice supervisors, crazy colleagues, etc etc etc..

i'm smiley smiley smiley.

spencer

taboo..

2006-11-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

work is the new taboo word.
literally sends chills down my spine.
i can't believe i'm starting work in less than 12 hours.
feels like eternity since i actually worked for money and even longer since i got my butt off my chair at home.
oh well.
guess, it's dress up time.
formal work attire, time for you to be my new dress code.

s

2006-11-11T01:18:00.000+08:00

no phone for now.
so try not to message or call.
email.
spencie88@gmail.com

s

2006-11-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

work's starting next tuesday, my working time being from tuesdays to sundays from 2-7 pm
somehow, i cant wait to start work.

s

jobless no more

2006-11-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

i finally got a job. urgh.
i re-did the blog skin too. urgh.
i'm bored. urgh urgh urgh.

s

it becoz of you

2006-11-08T14:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my birthday. i wanted to blog bout it last nite, but had to sleep early for my morning paper today, which went better than expect. thank God!!

aniwaez thank you so much for all those who wished me happy birthday! without you guys, yesterday would juz be another day, another day of exams. for those who din wish me, it ok, i forget many ppl's birthdays too. lolx.. but im making an afford to change tt..

yesterday would be perfect juz as it was. had a good paper, went out for lunch with my mum, ppl wishing my happy bithday now and then. thing were going on smoothly, and i was juz bout to change to play soccer, till 3 dudes out of nowhere came pouncing onto me. jAMS totally caught me by surprised, to wish me happy birthday, try to write their 'birthday card' onto my body and gimme a cake. they had made this perfect day an unforgetable one. thanx guys! surely, if theres one thing i can boast, it'd be how God has blessed me with such great bros! and tt includs my biological one too, who gave me such a great present. (and it not onli becoz of the present tt i like him.)

alrite, time to get back to my mugging retual again. tmls math p2, so pray for me!

Jams
i can sign up for youth camp with parental consent!

a's - 11 more days to liberation

2006-11-06T09:38:00.000+08:00

while spencer's post are always cheam, almost like really itterature, mines straight to the point. no fanciful words. no peotry-like statements. juz plain straight to the point english.

so how am i doing? well, the title says 90% of wad im feeling now. but i muz constantly remind myself tt a's ain't over yet, cuz i have been starting to dwell long er and longer into the things im supposed to be doing onli after my a's. i.e. blogging. lolx.. but todays special, it to remind all of you tt tml is a veri special day! lolx.. yes, i am tt narsistic.

aniwaez i gtg liao, back to my mugging retual. today's my clb pray for me..

Jams

p.s if anyone wans to buy me a present, dun buy me a bible. my lovely bro brought me a study bible and pocket bible already. and i love them!

4th

2006-11-06T01:09:00.000+08:00

my 4th post in many days..
turns out that my mind is choosing a weird period to work overtime.
things seem to be slowly calming down, but has the climax truly been reached yet?
or are we still far from the pinnacle of events to occur?
i've put a barricade on such thoughts, choosing to focus on the meagre details instead.
e.g. how clean are my clothes, what to eat now, etc etc etc..
perhaps, in time, continental shifts would occur more rapidly.

despite nothing, anything and everything,
a tune still stands strong in my head,
words strung together to motivate movement from within.

Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

sSsSsSsSsSsS

strings

2006-11-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

my body's aching.
netball two days back and soccer for 2 half hours continuous today has taken its toll.
my back aches, my arms ache, my legs ache, my neck aches.
i'm lethargic and my fitness levels are going down the drain.
time to start training again.
poor body, sorry to make you go through this.

so much for trying to fast today though.
had 2 pratas and an ice cream to last the whole day, then went jogging for an hour, did push ups, crunches, swam a few laps and played soccer with morgan for darn long.
i feel my stomach grumbling.
prayer does help but somehow the emptiness is still prominent and i think only food for now can fill up this void.
i think i have a fat fear now.
i cant stop myself from just getting up to do something.
and yet i know i should just sit down for a moment.
i feel my hamstring acting up again.
and my ankle's slightly swollen.
crap crap crap.
the good part, i think i lost some weight. (i better)

p.s email me at spencie88@gmail.com and not my hotmail. i cant seem to access it.

spencer

whoops.

2006-11-02T01:54:00.000+08:00

the weeks have rolled on by, the months cascading past as this ceaseless tug-of-war continues, only straining bonds more and more.
i stand on neither bank, aiding neither part, swaying to neither side.
instead i choose not to see, not to notice, not to do anything.
i flee from my very ownself, coward to my own image, battered by my own soul.
there is no end to this wearisome, lethargic journey of self-discovery, and yet, there are few pit stops along the way.
i'm young and restless, yet old and fatigued.
the decisions i made i do not regret, and still i look back to what might have been.
the soil covering my past gets no rest.
and with every decision i make,
a rough path sprouts from beneath the dense undergrowth.
and to where it leads?
even a compass cannot tell.
i am a shadow to the world, there everywhere, but serving no purpose but to follow.

my brain's about to explode.
am thinking too much again.
my body's in hibernation.
netball does physical damage to one's body.
my soul's resting.
too much feeling for one week.
i am shutting down.
need to get more sleep in before i grow fat.

Super
Pencil
Exudes
Nostalgic
Contagious
Enigmatic
Ravishment

Jams

2006-11-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

All the best for ur A lvl JAY!!! i pray tat GOD will give u strength, wisdom, a clear n calm mind.. also..i pray tat GOD will remove all ur stress, anxiety n tirness.. trust in GOD n hav faith bro.. juz do ur best n leave the rest to GOD.. HE will carry u through this tough time..

jAMS

Brother for sale

2006-11-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

Well, we think this world
Is a real nice place
But we think that it's a crime
That we should have an older brother
Who picks on us all the time
So, next time he's sleeping in his room
We're goin' to sneak in and tie him
Then we'll talk him out into the street
And see if someone will buy him

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only fifty cents
Brother for sale
He's not a big expense
You can hug him
You can bug him
You could buy or rent
Brother for sale,
Only fifty cents

Hey, would anybody like to buy
A slightly used big brother?
Even if you have one now
Trade him for another
He will help you with the chores
And he's fairly clean
The only problem is, sometimes
He can be so mean!

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Twenty Five Cents...etc

If mom knew we were selling him
We would really get it
Buy him now, don't pay 'til June
On approved credit
Buy him now, and we'll tell you
What we will do, mister
We'll even throw into the deal
Our little baby sister

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only ten cents...etc

He will always pick you up
When you take a fall
And he's good at showing you
How to catch a ball
He always tells these funny jokes
And does this crazy dance
Hey, wait!He sounds like a pretty nice guy...
Let's give him one more chance

Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price
Our brother's not for sale
We guess he will suffice
We like to hug him
We like to bug him
He's really rather nice
Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price!

jams not for sale!

jAms

what a wonderful world this would be

2006-10-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

jay, andrew and spencer,
do you remember the good old days?
the days when we were in secondary 1 and 2,
where we have to do aerobics,
where we were taught embarrasing line dancing, dance moves and aerobics,
where we would be in our P.E. attire,
in that stuffy, humid, squezzy hall of ours,

remember it was alternate with music lesson,
where we learned that we arent singers,

well

i came across a song the other day,
where we were during music lessons
it kinda brought back the good old memories,
plus the song had good lyrics too.

What A Wonderful Worldby Sam Cooke, James TaylorDon't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be.
Don't know much about geography,
don't know much trigonometry.
Don't know much about algebra,
don't know what s slide rule is for.
But I know that one and one is two,and if this one could be with you,
what a wonderful world this would be.
I don't claim to be an 'A' student,but I'm tryin' to be.
For maybe by being an 'A'-student,
baby,I can win your love for me.
Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be.

i may not know much abt my studies, my work, my life,
but i do know that i love you guys yeah.

and with JAmS,

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD THIS WOULD BE.

morgan

(empty)

2006-10-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

no matter what you do, i will stand by every decision you make.
these words may be just words to some, but to others, to the people i love so much, these words are actions, sincerity, are the focus of my love to you.
nothing you do will ever disappoint me, because i see you as and for who you are, the person who will accept me for whatever i do.
nothing you do will i doubt.
never will i question your integrity, cause in you God trusts, and in you i will trust too.
nothing anyone says can put you down.
nothing you do can make us disappointed in you.
i love you, deeply, truly, with every fragment of my being.
till death do us part, bros, till death do us part.

s

(none)

2006-10-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

i love you jay.
-for who you are
-for the things you do
-for being that soccer buddy
-for being the guy i can rely so much
-for the care and kindess you give to me
-thanks for doing the right things at the right time
-especially the times you stood up for me

whatever you have done in your life, I am sure I would have made the same decisions.

I am proud of you jay.

I love you wei han (andrew)
-for being the guy i can always call whenever i have problems.
-for being the guy who gives good views
-for being that matured straight forward you
-for the difficulties we have gone through

whatever you have done in your life, I am sure I would have made the same decisions.

I am proud of you wei han(andrew)

I love you spencer
-for being the rubbish you
-for the quarrels that brought us together
-for the like-ness in our characters(to a certain extend)
-to the crazy things you do
-for the way you stood by me

whatever you have done in your life, I am sure I would have made the same decisions.

I am proud of you spencer.

You guys would not only be the only people I can rely on. but the soccer buddies who would always be there for me whenever the clouds turn cloudy.

morgan